Flights of imagination

When you’re buckled in and waiting for takeoff, do you pull out the emergency instruction card and make a note of where the exits are? Check out your fellow passengers and see who’d be easiest to scramble over in a mad dash for safety? Contemplate whether you’d be willing to eat human flesh to survive if the plane crash-landed in remote mountains?

Huh, that would be just me, then.

Still, I trust you are at least paying attention to the safety videos played by the airlines that give you what could be life-saving information should anything go awry.

No, again?

Well, in that case, let me give you a rundown of what you may have been missing.

MOST REASSURING SPOKESWOMAN:

I never tire of watching this woman lead the Delta safety presentation. Those clear blue eyes, that frank, calm smile, I can listen to her talk about things like “loss of pressure” “water evacuation” without so much as a qualm.

BEST RAP SAFETY VIDEO:

Some people are a bit critical of no-frills Southwest Airlines, but not me. Gets you where you want to go as cheaply as possible. Plus, peanuts!

MOST SARCASTIC:

OK, not very sarcastic, but this video from Virgin America is mildly snarky at points and also addresses the whole floating cushion thing.

SIMPLY THE BEST:

You all remember what a good time I had in New Zealand, right? Well, it started on the plane. Lovely service and a safety video that was a positive treat for the eyes.